Friends forever?

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends

-Michael W. Smith

(all my 90's Christian music lovers...how good was this jam!?)

People say things like "BFF" "Bestie" "Sister from another mister"...... And sometimes we really believe it to be true, we will be friends forever and ever. When it doesn't come true, it kinda sucks!

I think a lot of people will agree with me, when anything big in your life happens, your friendships change. They can change for the better or they can change to the worse. Here are my personal thoughts on friendship changes.

When I graduated high school, I didn't go to college but my 5 closest friends all did...in different states....far away from on another....Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Hawaii oh and one went to AFRICA. It was really hard. I am the rare girl that still has friends from the day she was born. They are comfortable, we know everything there is to know about one another. So when they all left, I truly didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't know who I was or who I wanted to be. They were off meeting new people and trying new things and seeing the world and I was home, working. (now I know that was totally God's plan for my life, but when you are 18-19 you can't see why it's happening)

I stayed close with those friends and still consider them dear friends, more like family. But the relationships changed, as they should naturally, some good and some not so good.

*disclaimer: I don't like to make new friends. I don't like to put the work in, I just like MY people. It's easy. It's what I know. I'm almost 30 and it hasn't changed and it won't. Just sayin. I am very outgoing and I like to meet new people, and then go back to what I know. I have made friends and when it's easy and it just works, those kinds of friendships are my JAM*

I was single until I was 26 and up until that point a lot of my friends had babies and husbands. It was easy for me to fit right in, I didn't have that to go home to, so I spent most of my time with them and it was such a fun and wonderful season. When I met my husband we fell hard and FAST. We met in January, were engaged by July and married in November. Whew, I know.
Before I married him I knew I wasn't going to be able to spend all of my time with my friends any more, it was like a breakup. It was a weird thing that I didn't quite know how to deal with. I wanted to spend all of my time with my husband and also still keep the relationships I had before the same. It really wasn't possible.

Thankfully a lot of my friends have amazing husbands who love my husband and we can all hang out together and not have it be really uncomfortable. But the thing that was hard was my "girl time" my "let's go get coffee and talk" time, my "I'm going to call you and chat on the phone about nothing" time, wasn't so easy to do any more.

After a while we got the hang of it and got into a really good groove, still with some friendship that changed in a way I didn't like but I could deal with.

Then Lincoln.

Goodness if your life wasn't flipped upside down and turned inside out after having a baby then call me, we need to talk about how you did it.

NOTHING and I mean nothing changes friendship like having a baby. I wouldn't change a thing about having my son, he is the best thing I have ever done. He is my greatest joy on this earth and the reason my husband and I smile. Also should be noted the Lord is my everything and we thank Him everyday for Lincoln. He is the reason I live and breathe, my purpose in life is to serve and honor Him and He has tasked me with raising Lincoln to glorify Him. Every night when we put Lincoln to bed we pray and thank the Lord for him and everything he has given us.

Having him, rocked my world in so many ways and friendship was a really big one. It was amazing to see the old friends (who are now mommy's) I wasn't as close to, become close again. Sharing mommy hood with them is really wonderful. You become part of this club you never thought was real, but we text and call each other and ask questions about poop and tears and teeth and it's great!

Then there are the friends that just fall away, and no matter how hard you try and keep them in your grasp they aren't the same and they never will be. It hurts and it really isn't fair. It's hard when you have invested so much into someone and you can see right before your eyes the change. AND it's not for any bad reason, it's just that your seasons don't match up and as much as you want them to work they just don't. I don't like change, so when things start to, I really struggle with it. I go through the grieving process, really I do. I am a fixer and I want to be able to fix it all. But when a child comes into your life, you just don't have the time or the energy to put in to the friendship you once were able to.
Accepting the fact that it won't be the same is a big step. Who knows, maybe one day in the future your seasons will match up and you will pick up right where you left off. But if that doesn't happen, I have to believe that God has people come in and out of our lives for a reason and you can't really argue with the creator of all the plans.

I'm 9 months into having my baby and it's getting easier, but is still hard being ok with needing your friends to make the effort. I love doing things for my friends and being there for them, but for this short amount of time I just need them to make more of the effort. I'm not saying I don't make any, I do. I'm just saying that for now it's my turn to be selfish.
I'm a big believer in taking turns being selfish. We all go through things in life and for however long that struggle is, you get grace from your friends and it gets to be all about you. On the other hand, your friends get that too. When they are going through something big or hard THEY get to be needy and complain and vent, and you get to be there for them. I really think that this makes for strong friendships. As long as it's healthy, we need to be encouraging and uplifting. We need to make sure we are praying for one another and seeking the Lord together. Also if their problem is taking too long you sit them down and tell them to snap out of it! :)

My 24 birthday with my girl friends

Seattle happened ALL. THE. TIME. when there were no boys involved



Girls weekend a 5 year tradition.

My girls!

Old friendship revived with babies! They are one week apart in age, and Kelly and I are 10 days apart!

This girl was at the hospital when I was born! We now have babies 3 months apart

Babes in toyland... i.e. DISNEYLAND!!

This past week we took Lincoln down to California to visit Aunt Necia, Uncle Josh and Kennedy. It was his fourth trip flying. He did GREAT!

We were so excite because we were taking him to Disneyland for the first time, or as Kennedy calls it "Disneymand!". My husband and I love Disneyland and we can't wait to share our love with Lincoln. and we were really happy that he enjoyed it. There were so many things to look at, and surprisingly enough, he was able to go on quite a few rides.

People thought we were a little nuts for taking an almost 9 month old...my reaction to them is "well ok, you don't have to take your baby, but I'm taking mine!"
We got comments like "He's not going to remember" or "You aren't even going to be able to enjoy the rides" Disneyland is so much more than rides, the whole experience is what makes it special. From the moment you walk through the gate and take that iconic picture in from of the train, the magic begins.

Here is some advice I would give other mamas going to Disneyland.

RELAX! Don't have any expectations for the day except to have fun. Your babies schedule will pretty much determine when you take breaks and what you do all day long.

What to bring... Bring a backpack and a stroller and maybe even a front pack. When you do want to go on rides, you will want to be able to take your valuables with you and leave the stroller behind. The front pack is for times when the babe just doesn't want to be in the stroller any more. Bring a cover for the stroller so baby can nap in there while you walk around.

Bring snacks for you and the babe. WATER!!!!!!! It's a little expensive in the park so pack some of your own. There are places that will give you a cup of water for free (they have to) There are baby care centers that you can use to nurse, change diapers and just rest. They also have things to purchase, in case you forget baby food, diapers, wipes....anything you may need. It's kinda spendy (but when you're in a bind....)

When you walk in on Main Street stop and get a "1st Visit!" pin at town hall (to the left). If you buy your tickets at the park you can ask for them at the ticket booth.

Must have pin!

After the pin, get a Starbucks. Trust. You will need it. (they have the most fun mugs that you can only get IN the park, so if you want one get it!)

We downloaded the Disney wait times ap on our phones to check out ride times. That will determine where you want to start. Indiana Jones was only 10 min, so we started in Frontier Land. Not everyone could go on the rides at once, so when you get to the front, ask the cast member that is there for a stroller pass. The folks who have to wait with the babies can use it to go in the fastpass lane. AND you can use it anytime of the day.

Get a fast pass for in the beginning of the day for a ride you really want. We got one for Splash Mountain, unfortunately it didn't work with the babies schedule when we were supposed to go back. FLEXABILITY PEOPLE. But if you make it to the one, keep getting them.

If you only have one day. Don't park hop. You will waste too much time waiting to go from park to park.

Around 4:15 we made our way to the Toon Town area, we first went on Small World (baby friendly) it's also nice and cool in there and after we set up camp for the Mickey's Soundsational Parade. The best spot is right in front of Small World, the parade starts there and also is the first spot to end, so when it does you are able to book it to the rides you want while the rest if the park is still watching.

We made our way to Toon Town and got in line for Minnie Mouse's house. It's great because you get to meet her at the end! We headed to Mickey's house, but the babies were DONE by this point so we had to exit out the side.

The rides you can take babies on are....
Alice in Wonderland, Casey Jr. Circus Train, Disneyland Railroad, Finding Nemo Submarines, Jungle Cruise, Peter Pan, Small World, Storybook Canal Boats, Tiki Room, Winnie the Pooh, Tarzans Tree House and Dumbo.
We took Lincoln on Pirates..... and I don't think I would again it wasn't too scary for him but there are two drops that he and I were not fans of. BUT If you have a baby that is a fast nurser you totally can on that ride!

The book that helped us SOOOO much is 101 Disneyland Tips

I recommend this book, there are tips for Adults with and without kids, babies and no babies. what to eat, where to stay, when to go, it's great and not too expensive on Amazon.

We had such a fun day, Lincoln had a blast and my niece Kennedy had so much fun! She kept calling the tea cups, "coffee cups". I loved seeing her see characters and get excited.

Any age is perfect for Disneyland. You just have to know, it's not about you. But isn't that what we signed up for when we had babies?

We loved Minnie's nose!

The whole Disney gang

His first ride...not the biggest fan

King Louie came right up to him and he loved it!

Taking Kennedy on the "Coffee Cups"

Horsey Rides with my little bean

I need to get out. But I look like......

 I am really blessed to have the job that I have but more importantly the boss that I have! I have two days at home one to work and one to be off. And any other day that comes up I can have off. Blessed. 

So on the days I am home, sometimes I wake up in the morning and think... "What the heck are we going to do all day?!" Right now Lincoln is two days shy of being 8 months and his schedule is pretty set (knock on wood!). We get up around 7:45-8 and then first nap is around 10 for about two hours. Then second nap is around 2:00-2:30 for one to two hours. And then bed at 7:30. It's pretty great.  But when he's up, he gets bored really quick. There are only so many practice snacks we can have and toys we can play with over and over. 

It's a struggle to get dressed because he is so busy and really... What's the point. 

There are some days, most days when we just NEED TO GET OUT!! 

It's been raining a lot lately and Lincoln would live outside if we let him, and walks aren't always in the cards for us. But you know what is....?? TARGET! Some days I just need to get out, no matter what I look like. Lincoln needs to see something other than mom and I need to see something other than play mats and toys! 

I have found that when we do get out it is so good for the both of us! Like, mentally healthy good. Some days I can shower during his first nap and look "OK" but other days I look and Lincoln and say... "Well at least I love you" because I look like What Not to Wear is hiding around the corner to come and get me. 

Normally I would care, but it feels so good to get fresh air that I just don't have the time to care.  

Some places we like to go are

Target

Target

Target😘

Costco (SAMPLES!!)

Fred Meyer 

Starbucks 

Costco is a great one. You can spend so much time in there and not get bored AND get snacks. Because eating when you have a little one is rough!! Right?!?! A trick to get them to last longer is feed them and then leave or if they are in the snacking stage baby mum mums, it'll buy you like 20-30 more min!

I see other moms with TWO kids out and they look fantastic! I'm thinking .... "Oh your nanny is home cleaning up, that's why you had time to get ready" 

Yoga pants have a whole new meaning to me, same with super soft cotton t-shirts. A baseball cap is amazing but better than that is the oversized stretchy headband! Oh and I'm not saying I don't always shower, because I do. I'm saying that when I get to take and shower for 5 min....I'm not wasting any time on fancy hair and make up!!

Our outing gives me energy and sucks it out of Lincoln, it's a win win!! We get home and I am ready to make dinner and clean up his toys while he takes his second nap. And when he wakes up we play or have a bath and play some more and then...PTL daddy is home!!!

Even if you don't feel like it, even if you are going mad and everyone is crying... GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! It is worth it, I promise. 

Lincoln at Target😊

I think it's just me....

So... My sister and I started this idea in the summer. I've been waiting for her to accept the admin position and she hasn't. Not that she doesn't want to, she just....has a 2 year old and a job where she sometimes works 60+ hours a week AND she pregnant! We're hoping she goes for another presidential baby name (it's looking like the chances are good!) 

But by now my little Lincoln is 7 months old and he is the best thing ever! I love being his mommy. Watching every step is so fun and challenging to me. 

This past summer my husband and I got the crazy idea to buy a house when Lincoln was only 2 months old....oh we should not have done that. We were living in Portland in a condo that was on the 4th story and was 56 stairs to get to. About 4 weeks into us having Lincoln, I was done climbin them. We had to move. So we started looking and bought a house in Wilsonville, however the house wasn't built yet. The builder said it would be done on September 28th. We put our condo on the market and it sold in 7 days! We were going to close on the 25th of September. No big deal. We can live with one of our parents for a few days. SO we start to pack up our first home. We lived there for three years almost exactly. During packing we decide that our kitty Zoé isn't happy with us anymore. Really she isn't happy with Lincoln, it's not fair for us to keep her and keep putting her in the bedroom away from us. We give her away to a girl named Zoey:) they are a perfect match. It was a sad day for us. But she is happy now. 

On top of getting rid of our cat and packing.... My sister decides to move away. Ugh. AND I went back to work. This summer was rough. I had a million emotions running through my body. 

So we pack and find out that our house won't be finished until the end of October! We pack up and leave our condo and move in with my parents. We are so thankful we have a place to stay. We were living in Salem and still working in Portland. It was a crazy time. 

Oh and on top of all of that, we hear the house won't be ready until November 30th!!!!! We so didn't pack enough clothes for that. At. All. 

There were many break downs. Many tears. And we learned a lot. 

We are in our house now for about a month and we love it. Lincoln is happy and we are so so happy!! 

More updates to come!

On a walk with beautiful Mt. Hood behind us. 

First Christmas with Lincoln 

Welcome home!

The kind of advice you want?

During my pregnancy I received ALL kinds of advice....most of it I never asked for nor did I want. The reason was because most of it was very negative. People would say things like "you're never going to sleep again", "Your life is over!", "You MUST do this (insert silly comment here) to have the perfect baby" and all kinds of other things. It really opened my eyes to things NOT to say to pregnant women. Every baby is different and every mommy is different. You'll figure it out and honestly impress yourself with how you know how to take care of your child.
Having my son there are things that I have figured out on my own and wouldn't have minded hearing about before he was here. Like the practical things....

 -On Clothing for Baby
1. Carters brand runs SO small! I wouldn't invest in Carters (unless it's on sale) Lincoln is 11 weeks and is already to big for his 3 month jammies and he isn't super long either. They have the cutest clothes and don't get me wrong we have bought them for Lincoln, we just haven't invested a ton. They also only go by Newborn, 3 month, 6 month.....so he doesn't fit into the 3 month any more but is too small for 6 month.
2. Cat and Jack at Target is great! The sizes are great they have Newborn, 0-3, 3-6, 6-9..... there are more options for sizing AND they are always a great price (Old Navy too). If you have the Target Cartwheel app you can save even more.
3. People kept telling me that Lincoln won't wear all the clothes that he gets, that hasn't been the case for us (maybe if we had a girl it would be different) Lincoln has been able to wear most all of his clothes before he grew out of them.
4.Before baby is born I would invest in some plain white onsies, the snap by the crotch ones AND the kimono ones as well. Kimono onsies are wonderful for the first few weeks when their belly button hasn't come off yet. Also invest in some nightgown jammies, these are great for late night diaper changing and they are pretty darn cute and you don’t have to get them completely undressed for a diaper change. 

 -On Clothing for Mommy
1. Before baby comes be sure and get some nursing tank tops and bras. You will not want to have to go out and get these after baby comes.
2. Get some granny panties....dark colored ones....and pads....trust me. (the hospital will send you with some, but it's nice to have them and not have to send the husband to do it)
3. Invest in some flowy tops, your tummy will still be big for a while and the LAST thing you want to wear is your maternity tops.

 -On things at home
1. WIPE WARMER!!!!! It seems so so silly but it has been the best thing for the late night diaper changing, the last thing you want is to wake your baby up with a cold wet wipe.
2. Gripe water, babies hiccup a lot! I just wish I would have got some before baby came so I didn't have to go out and get it.
3. Saline, babies noses get super dry and easily congested this helps so much. For the first few weeks a humidifier in their room is good too. They’ve been in a moist environment for 9 months and still need a little moisture. 
4. It's funny but Target Up and Up brand wipes are awesome and cheap. Pampers wipes are great just more expensive and Huggies.... RIP seriously... you try and grab one and little pieces tear off. Also Kirkland wipes are great too and you get a lot for not a ton of $$.
5. Gas drops, I use these all the time.

6. Frida Baby brand has so many wonderful helpful things for you and baby. The Windi literally saved us with Eleanor and her gassy-ness. The first time we used it her whole body relaxed and we were sold! It’s a little gross but worth it. Their nail clippers are wonderful as well. 

Some of my favorite apps and websites to follow for help are 

Wonder weeks app. It’s helpful in tracking what their brains are doing and maybe why they are so angry :)

Nursing app. You will literally never remember what side you nursed on last. This helps you keep track of sides and length of time. 

Lucie’s List online. They will send you weekly helpful information. They also have resources on the best tested baby gear. I learned a lot from them! 

Save in the seat on Instagram- I found this page after my kids we a bit older but it helped fix problems I didn’t know about with their car seats. 

Taking Cara Babies- she is wonderful for sleep training and it works!!!! We did this with Eleanor and for Lincoln we read 12 hours sleep by 12 weeks old and that worked for him. 

I could write lots more but this is already overwhelming.

Even if you have nothing ready by the time your little one comes IT'S OK they don't need much in the beginning. Except you do need a carseat, they won't let you leave without having one installed ;)

It's one of the best things that has ever happened to my husband and I, we wouldn't change having Lincoln in our life for the world. It also one the the hardest things for us. Prepare your marriage for the change. Your husband/partner will not know what to do to help if you don’t ask. You will have so many emotions rushing through you and you will just cry for no reason. You will both figure it out but it can be really hard when it’s not just the two of you any more. 

If you have been hired at any job in your life, you have a training period, where you get to learn and your boss has some grace on you because you just don't know yet...well being a mommy takes time to figure out as well. Give yourself some grace.
It's a tough job, but YOU GOT THIS!

Also ASK! Ask your mommy friends, put it out there on Facebook/Instagram if you have questions. It's so nice to hear how other people have done something for the problem your having. You are joining a new group and its an awesome one to be in! And if someone offers to help TAKE IT!! 

 

Mary

Who we are- Mary

I'm Mary and I am the younger sister and I live in Oregon with my husband and my new baby boy Lincoln. Life is a bit nuts for us right now. My husband is starting a new job (tomorrow) we sold our condo and bought our first home that isn't finished being built yet. I think we are a little crazy to have so much going on with a newborn....but it's fun and we function well on crazy. 

This summer I have had the help of my husband the whole time Lincoln has been born. He is 10 weeks and my husband is/was a teacher and had the summer off. We didn't plan to have our son in the summer but it worked out perfectly. I know I am spoiled to have the help and I love it! My husband would take my son in the morning after the 7am feeding and hang out while I got an extra 2-3 hours of sleep. 

Well tomorrow.... That's all going to end. My husband will leave for work around 7:30 and it will be me and the Lincoln Log all day every day for the next two weeks until I start work again. On top of all day, my husband is a soccer coach and has practice every night until 6:00 all fall. I am jumping feet first into the cold waters of being mommy full time alone all day! I'm nervous and excited all at the same time. 

My sister can get into her story but she just moved to LA with my niece who is one of the loves of my life. She is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. They moved three days ago. It's weird to have someone gone who is apart of your every day life. My husband and I did everything with my sister her daughter and her husband. It's so sad to have them gone but will be so fun to visit OFTEN!

We are going to navigate a new life this fall. New baby, new house, new job, new friends (maybe). I'm not the biggest fan of change but I'm excited to see where life will take us! 

I hope you enjoy following along on the adventure of my little family and raising my baby boy Lincoln. 

-Mary 

(Necia will introduce herself soon!)